fun & humor : humor

does your cat own you?

• Do you have pictures of your cat in your wallet?
• Do you bring them out when your friends share pictures of their children? (Pollsters claim that 40 percent of cat owners carry their pet's pictures in their wallets.)
• Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?
• If single, would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?
• If single, do you accept dates only with those who have a cat?
• If so, do you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along?
• When people call to talk to you on the phone, do you insist that they say a few words to your cat as well?
• When someone new comes to your house, do you introduce your cat, by name, to them?
• Can you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?
• Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?
• Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?
• Do you scoop out the litter box every time a cat uses it?
• Do you wait at the box with the scoop in your hand?
• Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter?
• Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?
• Do you climb out of bed over the headboard or footboard so you won't disturb the sleeping cat?
• Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?
• Do you kiss your cat on the lips?
• At the store, do you pick up the cat food and kitty litter before you pick out anything for yourself?
• Do you have more than four opened-but-rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?
• Do you microwave your cat's food?
• Prepare it from scratch?
• Does your cat "insist" on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an omelet made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout?
• Do you cook a special turkey for your cat on holidays?
• Does your cat eat out of cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial on television?
• Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table?
• With your fork?
• While the cat sits at your table?
• While the cat sits ON your table?
• Does your cat sleep on your head?
• Do you like it?
• Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
• Did you buy a video of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat?
• Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
• Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas?
• If married, do you spend more for your cat than you do for your spouse?
• Do your Christmas cards feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap?
• Does your cat sign the card?