fun & humor : "how-to" instructions

how to bake cookies with a cat

• Look in cookbook for favorite cookie recipe.
• Lift cat off cookbook.
• Find the recipe; set book aside.
• Get eggs from fridge.
• Get flour and dry ingredients from cupboard.
• Break eggs in small bowl; set aside.
• Sift flour and dry ingredients in large bowl.
• Realize the cat ate the eggs, get more from fridge.
• Remove cat from flour bowl and wipe off cat.
• Apply bandages to scratches on hands.
• Throw out fur-filled flour and dry ingredients; re-mix.
• Preheat oven for cookies.
• Glare at cat, who runs for cover into the bathroom.
• Sprinkle flour on the counter to roll out cookie dough.
• Upon hearing loud crash in bathroom, run to see what happened.
• Notice toilet paper covering entire bathroom floor, liberally dotted with spilled and broken items from bathroom counter.
• Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl.
• You sense the cat is angry.
• Extract cat from toilet and gently dry off cat with large fluffy towel.
• Apply more bandages to new scratches on arms and legs.
• Clean up bathroom.
• After hearing muffled thump in kitchen, run to see what caused it.
• Remove cat from floured kitchen counter.
• Attempt to pick out cat hairs from flour.
• Get money, coat, and car keys and drive to store to buy cookies.