fun & humor : "how-to" instructions

how to bake cookies with a cat

  • Look in cookbook for favorite cookie recipe.
  • Lift cat off cookbook.
  • Find the recipe; set book aside.
  • Get eggs from fridge.
  • Get flour and dry ingredients from cupboard.
  • Break eggs in small bowl; set aside.
  • Sift flour and dry ingredients in large bowl.
  • Realize the cat ate the eggs, get more from fridge.
  • Remove cat from flour bowl and wipe off cat.
  • Apply bandages to scratches on hands.
  • Throw out fur-filled flour and dry ingredients; re-mix.
  • Preheat oven for cookies.
  • Glare at cat, who runs for cover into the bathroom.
  • Sprinkle flour on the counter to roll out cookie dough.
  • Upon hearing loud crash in bathroom, run to see what happened.
  • Notice toilet paper covering entire bathroom floor, liberally dotted with spilled and broken items from bathroom counter.
  • Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl.
  • You sense the cat is angry.
  • Extract cat from toilet and gently dry off cat with large fluffy towel.
  • Apply more bandages to new scratches on arms and legs.
  • Clean up bathroom.
  • After hearing muffled thump in kitchen, run to see what caused it.
  • Remove cat from floured kitchen counter.
  • Attempt to pick out cat hairs from flour.
  • Get money, coat, and car keys and drive to store to buy cookies.

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